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What Does It Mean to Be Trans?
We’ve already gone over different LGBT+ terms in the Glossary, so now it’s time to dig deeper into what it actually means to be transgender.
The Right Way to Treat a Trans Person
When you first find out that someone is trans, it might be difficult to know how to treat them.
But there are also some more obvious things that you shouldn’t say or do, that you wouldn’t even think of doing to a cis person, because cis people and trans people will have different life experiences in terms of how society treats them. It shouldn’t be like that, but for now, it is.
We’ll work on that.
How Do You Know You’re Trans?
Tricky question.
There’s more than one answer, and identity can always change down the road, if you later find a label that you think suits you better, or you find that having no label at all is even better than that.
Mainly, though, it’s a combination of several things together.
Our History
Where you come from can be just as important as where you’re going, in the same way that knowing the history of your own community can help you understand yourself better, help you connect with others, and lastly - help you see what still needs to be done.
Gender Expression vs Identity
People often get gender expression and gender identity confused, and the differences can be subtle depending on what they mean to each person.
Coming To Terms With Your Identity
Okay, so, you’ve figured out you’re trans.
What do you do now?
Dealing With Gender Dysphoria
Gender dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort when the sex you were assigned at birth doesn’t match your gender identity. It can cause you to feel anxious, depressed, to withdraw from being around other people, or to even hurt yourself.
However, there are ways to deal with it.
Coming Out
Coming out typically means telling people about your identity, whether that be sexuality or gender, and can be a gradual process that never really ends if you meet new people.
You should go at your own pace when first coming out, as there are many ways to do it, and not everyone needs to know right away, if that feels too overwhelming.
Tips and Resources for Allies
It might be confusing at first to know what the correct language or terminology is to use around trans people.
That’s why we’re here to give you some useful tips and general ‘rules’ to follow, although every situation is different and these tips can’t possibly cover everything there is to know about being a good ally.
Passing and Being Stealth
Passing and the ability to be stealth are normally things that happen later in a transition.
Passing doesn’t mean that you have to pass some sort of test, rather, it means that when you’re in public people gender you correctly.
Being stealth is when you don’t tell people that you’re trans, and they just assume you were born as the gender you identify as.
It’s not ‘cheating’ or lying to not tell someone that you’re trans, as it can be seen as personal and private information, and you don’t owe anybody access to it.
Dollar Shave Club for Grooming
A lot of cis men grow up with their fathers or other parents teaching them how to shave, but as a trans person or someone who came out later on in life – you might not get that experience.
Not everyone grows facial hair on T, but it’s good to be prepared and to keep things neat if you have any stubble or anything else you need to deal with.
Hence, Dollar Shave Club.
You Don’t Have to Fit Any Boxes
You can wear skirts or makeup or jeans or cut your hair short no matter what your gender identity is. Some people might wait until they’re further into their transition so that they’re more likely to pass, such as a trans man deciding to wear makeup after he’s been on T for a while, but don’t let societal expectations tell you what you can and can’t wear because of how you identify.
Trans Representation In Media - Recommendations
There isn’t as much positive trans representation in different forms of media as there should be, but we’ve certainly made some decent strides in recent years.
Seeing yourself represented on TV or in a book is incredibly empowering, and for some people decently written trans character can actually help them realize they’re trans in the first place.
Resources for Trans Women and Transfeminine people – The Queer Space
For this post, DMC has reached out to The Queer Space, to give trans women and transfeminine people somewhere to go to find resources that are geared specifically towards them.