Coming To Terms With Your Identity
Okay, so, you’ve figured out you’re trans.
What do you do now?
The obvious thing is to tell other people, which we’ll get into in another post.
But as you go through what you want from your transition, and all of the things that entails, you might also want to work on how you feel about your identity.
People often see a lot of negative stigma about being trans online, a lot of outdated language, and a lot of opinions that makes being trans look like the last thing you want to be.
So, trying to be okay with being trans when everywhere you look there’s something telling you that you shouldn’t be – it’s difficult.
But not impossible.
There’s Nothing Wrong With Who You Are
There might be people who aren’t so happy about your identity. There might even be people that tell you that being trans is wrong.
Well, they’re wrong.
Being trans is a part of who you are, and you’ve come so far just figuring that out. Don’t let other people ruin it for you – which I know is easier said than done.
You are not a burden for being trans. Nothing about your identity should be an excuse other people use to treat you badly. If you are being treated badly, you are not the problem.
There are, and will be, people who accept you as you are, if the people around you don’t already.
But how do you actually learn to accept yourself when you’re just starting your transition? Or even if you’re decades into it already?
There are a few things you can do:
Join trans communities online – Including r/transgenderUK or r/ftm or r/mtf on Reddit.
Join trans groups near you.
Talk to charities and organizations if you need extra support.
Talk to people you can trust about how you’re feeling.
If you’re at university, join societies for LGBT people.
If you’re at school, try seeing if there are any other trans people or LGBT people in your year group (who are already out about who they openly) that you can talk to and get advice from.
Write a diary as you go through your feelings, challenging anything negative you say about yourself.
See a gender specialist – More specifically, a gender identity clinic, who can help give you resources about different parts of your transition.
See a therapist who is knowledgeable about trans issues – Your GP can refer you, or you can look online and pay privately.
The main takeaway from this is that figuring yourself out takes time – and then being okay with who you find yourself to be can take even more time.
There’s no rush to figure everything out at once, and if you need help, there are resources available. Both on DMC, and on the websites of different charities and organizations.
Whether you’re brand new to being trans, have known that you’re trans but couldn’t transition, or transitioned decades ago but are still struggling with acceptance – there’s a place for you in the world, and in the trans community.
